How to Coach Someone

“Coaching” someone in ministry to develop them as a leader is not as complicated or difficult as you might think. Asking these six questions and listening well can encourage, change perspectives, jump-start creative problem solving, and inspire transformation.


1) “How are you?”

It may sound cliché, but it’s still true: “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” We begin every coaching conversation by checking in to see how the person we are coaching is really doing.


2) “What are you celebrating?”

“Where are you/we winning?” Celebrate how God is at work in our life, ministry, and church. Moving from “How are you?” to “What are you celebrating?” keeps the tone of the meeting very relational and positive. It’s tempting to quickly focus on what’s not working or what is broken. This question keeps the conversation focused on where the leader is feeling successful.


3) "What challenges are you facing?"

You might be thinking, “Finally we get to something productive.” Yes, the previous questions are very relational, but if it helps any, remember that when it comes to coaching, the relationship really is the task. This question gives your leader an opportunity to talk openly about the things that aren’t going very well in his group or team.


4) "How will you handle those challenges?"

Once a leader has disclosed some areas where he or she may be experiencing some challenges with his life, group, or team it is tempting to quickly move into “fix-it” mode and try to solve the problem for him. There are times when a leader will need your insight and wisdom. However, the best way you can serve a leader is to help them tap into the wisdom and insight God has already given them to deal with whatever situation they are facing. It is the coach’s role to draw those answers or solutions out of the leader.


5) "How can I help you?"

Finally, the question we’ve wanted to ask. This is an important question, but if you never get to this question because the leader has already come up with an action plan as you walked through the previous questions, consider yourself an extremely effective coach. There are times when a coach needs to step in and offer whatever assistance is necessary to help a leader in need.


6) "How can I pray for you?"

The best way to wrap up a coaching conversation is to ask the leader how you can be praying for him and to share how he/she can pray for you. This is one way a coach can help the leader know that this relationship is mutually beneficial. After the leader has had a chance to express some areas where he is in need of prayer, take a few moments to pray for the leader and reassure him that you will be praying for him regularly.


The dream of God is not for the church to be led by a one-man show, but that it would be a great team led by great coaches. Our role is to equip and empower the people of the church to do the work of ministry. When the game is on the line and the final point needs to be scored, the ball will be in the hands of our leaders and those leaders need to be coached to take the winning shot.